Seeking Him

"If you begin to live life looking for the God that is all around you, every moment becomes a prayer." Frank Bianco 

I haven't been able to get this quote out of my mind for the last several months.  And honestly, it couldn't be more true.  There have been so many moments lately where I have honestly had to mentally list where I see God in the event/story.  It's so easy to get lost in the daily tasks and busyness of life.  My prayer is that I'll take the time to stop and look for God.  That I won't get overwhelmed at the details and miss what He is already doing right in front of me.  Love the picture of having every moment as a prayer to Him.

Other ways to stay connected:
*In case you aren't on my newsletter mailing list (if you would like to be added to the list let me know!)- click on the link below to read more stories and see some super cute pictures of all my little friends!

http://www.ministryupdates.org/smalley

*For more pictures click on the link below.  You do not need to have a facebook account to see the photos!

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151398640175831.535019.529825830&type=1&l=0bc7d14df0

*Facebook:  Brooke Smalley

oh so beautiful!

Abaka Bay resort 

My days are usually spent working in the clinic and playing in the village.  At times it's easy for me to forget that I actually live on a Caribbean Island.  Several of my friends, that I live and serve with here at NVM, are transitioning back to the States in July.  We haven't traveled to any other parts in Haiti so we decided that a road-trip would be an excellent sort of last adventure together.  On Sunday we left Chambrun at a crazy hour of the morning to head towards Les cayes.  We then took a boat to Ile a Vache (translated- Island of Cows- and nope I didn't see any cows!) which is an island that is off the coast of Haiti.  We were the only people at the resort so it literally felt like we were the only people on this little island!  This was truly one of the most relaxing and peaceful breaks away from work and life.  The resort was beautiful and the food was delicious.  We spent our days relaxing by the beach and swimming in the ocean.

Bassin Bleu- this spring is 76 feet deep!  

After a few days at the resort we headed to another town outside of Jacmel.  We went to Bassin Bleu which is an area that has natural flowing springs with beautiful waterfalls.  We hired a guide to lead us on a hike through the mountain/forested area that surrounded the waterfalls.  As we hiked we saw several smaller springs with waterfalls.  The largest spring of water was 76 feet deep with a beauiful waterfall.  The guides helped to show us areas where we could climb and jump off the cliffs into the cold water.  We had so much fun swimming through the different pools of water and couldn't get over just how beautiful it really was.  This place was tucked back into the mountain where it could have easily been overlooked without the guides help.  This trip helped me to fall even more in love with Haiti.  Love that there are these little hidden places that are filled with such beauty that only God himself could create.

I have tried taking my camera to the village multiple times over the last few weeks to capture some of the adorable moments with my kiddos.  Typically I'd argue that they are not only the cutest little things ever but that they are pretty well behaved too.  These photos sort of capture the other side of their personalities.  Or maybe more truthfully just how little control I have over them somedays and how they are clearly not afraid of my threats when they don't listen.  Let's just say the children have been full of energy and maybe they too are sensing that the end of the school year is near because it has been impossible to capture their innocence with a camera! These are some of my favorite photos from the last several months that truly capture how chaotic some of my afternoons are=)

My face says it all.  I have no control what so ever.  

This is a typical Davidson face- he is letting me know that he isn't being
held...which is pretty much not acceptable!

Not sure who has more sass=)

Just another day playing with the kids...I mean why wouldn't
Davidson want to ride the turkey?! 

hello rainy season!

rainy season

I've said it over and over but in case you need to be reminded my favorite time of the day is after I'm finished working in the clinic and I head down the road to the village.  I typically don't make it too far from campus before I'm dripping with sweat and wondering why in the world I choose the middle of the afternoon (hottest time of the day) to walk the road to Chambrun.  

Rainy season has officially started which means that it can look beautiful and sunny one minute and start pouring the next.  The rain is a blessing because it takes away some of the dust and also cools the afternoons off a little.  It also brings with it the mosquitos which are less of a blessing.  It's crazy how it can go from the "dry season" picture to the "rainy season" picture (this is the exact same spot in the village) in a matter of thirty minutes.  Last Friday I was blessed to have Natacha's home to sit in while waiting for the rain to stop falling.  The children all teased that the rain wasn't going to stop and that I could just sleep in their homes.  They all were willing to share their beds and I joked that I would only sleep with the potty trained kids!  The rain eventually stopped and walking home was quite the adventure.  The water was at least four inches above my ankles and I knew the odds of me falling were incredibly high.  The entire village looked like a pond with houses that were in the middle of it- there was literally no dry ground.  Let's just say the children and adults both would never let me forget it if I fell!  When it rains the mud on the paths is literally like an ice skating rink.  It's impossible to walk with my flip flops so I typically end up carrying them and pray with each and every step that my feet don't step on the thorns, broken glass, and of course the donkey and goat droppings.  On this day my Haitian friends helped to form a line and we all walked or more truthfully slid down the path towards the road.  When I started to slip and fall they would pull me up and when they started to fall I would help them too.  We all had tears in our eyes from laughing so hard at our attempts to not fall.  Thankfully I made it back to campus without any foreign objects in my feet and without falling!

dry season (same path as above picture!)

mango fever

It's been mango season for several weeks now.  It's one of my favorite fruit seasons for many reasons.  One is that during mango season you can't drive down the road more than a few feet without seeing a small table piled high with mangos.  They are literally everywhere and they are super cheap!  If you aren't already convinced that my kiddos are the cutest things ever- you should see how absolutely adorable they are while eating their mangos!  There is something so precious and funny about watching them as they have mango juice dripping all down their arms, bellies, and faces.  Not to mention the crazy amount of the mango strings they get stuck in their teeth!  Love all the sticky hugs and kisses that mango season brings with it!

Davidson's sticky factor is out of control!  

Natamara is making sure she enjoys every last bite of her
mango by even cleaning off all the skin!

generosity

The kindergarten students with all the blankets!

One thing that continues to amaze and leave me speechless is how generous people are.  Not just my family and friends but people I don’t even know.  People who love and feel called to serve Haiti and yet aren’t called to actually live in Haiti or maybe even visit.  I am always surprised at how creative complete strangers can be.  There is a group of kindergarten students in Zionsville Indiana that practiced the skill of learning to tie by making the softest baby blankets for some of the infants we see in our clinic on campus.  These children have never been to Haiti and honestly, most will probably never come, and yet they have found a way to serve from home at the age of 5 years old.  

This sweet little baby fell right to sleep on her new blanket!

Little Bedshaina has the most precious laugh!  Love this sweet little baby!

There are several little babies that come to the clinic every two weeks for formula.  One mother is unable to breast feed her baby and there are a few other women who are raising babies that had mothers who died.   These infants weren’t thriving because the family members weren’t able to purchase the formula the babies needed.  At just a few weeks of age these babies were being fed sugar water and flour water along with mashed up food.  Several weeks ago our formula shelf was empty and both Aubree and I were wondering what we would do for the babies who were scheduled to come in the following week.  In a way that only God can provide another palate of formula was donated and a team was able to bring each and every can to us- just two days before we needed it. 

Johnny was in our malnutrition program (he graduated!) he
LOVED the formula!!

Stanley with a packet of Plumpy Nut!
Most of the kids can't wait and eat their first pack at the malnutrition appointment=)

In the clinic we have seen an increase of children that are diagnosed with malnutrition.  Each child and family has a story and many of the stories literally break us.  There is a group of people that has a heart for Haiti- especially the children of Haiti.  This group raised the needed funds to cover the purchase of a palate of Plumpy Nut (peanut based product that is used to treat children who have severe acute malnutrition), whole milk, and back-packs to help the parents carry the needed materials home.  In yet another way that only God can provide- we received a palate of Plumpy Nut (we were on our last box), that we were able to purchase in Haiti, on the exact day the kiddos had malnutrition appointments.  The story for each of these families is just beginning- the children are gaining weight and reaching developmental milestones.  Love watching God at work in each of the children!

Todeson knows that only good things are kept in his back-pack!

The list could literally go on and on.  I love nothing more than planning and organizing things so when I notice that things are running low- it makes me nervous and yet He is faithful.  Each and every week He meets the needs of our patients and for me too.  Sometimes I feel guilty because I have the privilege of knowing the names and faces of each of these children and families.  I get to receive the hugs and kisses and of course the best part is getting to hold and love on each of these children.  I love that God has called people from all over to work together in ways that only He could ever coordinate.  

Introducing D'Jerry!

 There are some families that are just extra special to both Aubree and I.  Cilianise is an amazing momma and is the first person to greet me each and every Sunday at church.  Nine months ago she was in the clinic because she had been sick.  I ran a routine pregnancy test on her and the results were positive.  I was completely overwhelmed for her because this would be her seventh pregnancy.  One of her sons, Jean, has Cerebral Palsy and she does everything possible to fight for this little one.  Just recently Jean was able to start physical therapy with another organization.  Cilianise works with him multiple times a day doing different exercises.  She works hard to make sure her children go to school and are cared for.  During her pregnancy, I loved getting to watch her belly grow and feel all the little baby kicks.  She had 3 girls and 3 boys and she said she was praying for another little girl.  For nine months I talked to the little "girl" in her belly telling her how beautiful she was and how excited I was to meet her.  Nine days ago Cilianise had her seventh child- a perfect little boy.  I was in Indiana when she had the baby and could hardly wait to get back and meet this little man.  The look on Cilianise's face when Aubree and I walked into her home this morning was priceless.  She was so excited to introduce us to little D'Jerry and of course we both thought he was absolutely perfect.  Love this little boy already and I've already called dibs on getting to hold him next Sunday in church!

back home again!

Back: my sisters Mila and Yarley.  Front: nieces Madison and Caitlin

I just arrived back in Haiti last night after a relaxing and wonderful two weeks with my family.  I was excited to have no specific "agenda" which meant I had lots of time to just sit and enjoy time with my family.  I played (and lost) lots of card games with my nieces Madison and Caitlin and of course spent lots of time cuddling my youngest niece Ava who is now 7 months old.  I was able to attend my oldest niece Madison's music concert and go to preschool with Caitlin.  I know I'm not partial or anything but I'm pretty sure my nieces are the cutest and smartest kids out there=)  I am blessed to have some amazing friends and loved getting time to see them.  I also was completely surprised  that I got to see E'tienne (she worked in the clinic with me during my first year in Haiti) who lives in New York but happened to be in Indiana while I was there.  Before moving to Haiti I volunteered with the youth group at my church.  I loved my high school small group and was so excited when I found out that Kelsey (my old co-leader) had planned a supper so I could see all the girls!  Needless to say the two weeks went extremely quickly.  I was sad to leave my family and yet I was also really excited to get back home to my Haitian family.  As I was boarding the plane yesterday I felt completely blessed.  I love that I have a home in Indiana and another in Haiti!

My niece Ava!

E'tienne and I

rosamene

Little Rosamene

Haitian Proverb:

"Sa je pa weke pa tounen-what the eye doesn't see doesn't move the heart"

It's so easy for me to jump to conclusions and become frustrated at what I see sometimes.  There are moments when I feel that certain situations are full of injustice beyond hope.  And yet, there are moments when I see God break through and I see the situation through a different set of eyes.  Last summer I met a little girl that broke my heart.  This little girl, Rosamene, was seen in our clinic and was diagnosed with malnutrition.  At ten months of age she weighed just 10 pounds.  I was told that Rosamene was placed in an orphanage and from what I could tell the orphanage wasn't taking care of her.  A caretaker brought her to our clinic every two weeks for three months.  The last time I saw Rosamene she was barely able to hold her head up and didn't have the energy to even stay awake.  I knew that if her caretaker didn't take her to receive the medical care she needed and if she didn't provide her with the needed nutrition, Rosamene would die.  I was completely broken.  There is no way to look at an innocent child and not just want to scream at each and every person involved in her story.  And yet- there is so much more to her story, so many details that I didn't know.

I last saw Rosamene in November and have thought of her daily.  Honestly, I thought she had died and yet there was this small piece of hope in my heart, that I didn't dare say out loud, that I prayed she was alive.  Last week as we were triaging in the clinic I noticed a momma walk in with a baby on each hip.  She said that she had come to see the doctor but that we were full for the day.  The toddler on her right hip seemed shy and the baby on her left was covered in a blanket.  I pulled back the blanket and knew instantly that this was our little Rosamene.  I began to question the mother asking her the baby's name and if she was her mother or a worker from the orphanage.  She responded that the baby's name was Rosamene and that she was indeed her mother.  Her mother shared that both of the girls had lived in the orphanage and she was recently called to come and get them because the orphanage had been closed.

The shy toddler was Rosamene's sister, Mirlanda. She is 5 years old, can not walk, and weighed barely nothing.  As I sat and talked to mom I got to hear more of her story.  Mom has seven children from 3 months to 7 years of age.  Mom herself is just 23 years old.  Mom was really sweet with the girls and she genuinely seemed to care for them.  I don't know why she placed the girls in the orphanage, but after meeting her I quickly realized that I don't know what I would have done either. I can't imagine how hard it is for this momma.  How difficult it is for her to provide for her family and make each and every resource stretch to meet the needs of each person.  Aubree instantly began researching places that provide inpatient malnutrition care and we all sat and loved on this momma and her daughters.  It took all the strength I had to contain my tears as I walked to the gate with this family.  I shared with this momma that we have loved her daughter for a long time and even though we didn't know you, we were praying for you too.  In a way that only God can provide we discovered that one of mom's cousins is a dear friend of ours.  I am so thankful that Rosamene's story isn't over and that she has a heavenly father that has plans for her life that are beyond anything that I could imagine.

Rosamene's mom and sister Mirlanda

baptism!

Natamara, Natacha, and Kris

Natacha has been planning Kris and Natamara's baptism for months and months.  There have been many "planned" dates that never happened so when I heard that the girls were getting baptized this weekend I didn't actually hold my breath.  Yesterday, Natacha gave Aubree, Claire, and I strict instructions to be at her home by 8 a.m.  In typical Haitian fashion we arrived this morning around 8:30 a.m. and found that everyone was gone.  Natacha and the baptism party had left with the girls around 7 a.m.- I was completely confused as to why she left early and told us to come at 8 a.m. but figured the reasons must have been lost in translation.  I giggled when Daniella, four years old, told me all about what was going to happen at the baptism- someone was dumping water on Kris and Natamara's heads and then they would pray!  Aubree, Claire, and I played with the other kiddos and were nice and dirty when we found out that everyone was headed back to Natacha's for the baptism party.  We thought we were invited to see them all dressed up before they left for the baptism when in reality we were invited to the party after the baptism.  Yes, we were all dressed in our Saturday "finest" and we were filthy.  We quickly ran over to the children's home and used the well to wash up before the baptism group returned home.  I wish I could describe how excited everyone was when the baptism party arrived on several motos (motorcycles).  The children were jumping and screaming and all the adults came out to celebrate.  Natacha looked beautiful and the look on her face was literally priceless.  This momma was so proud of her little girls.  Kris and Natamara looked adorable and paraded around in their fancy dresses.  They were both quick to show me their tights (yes, Kris had on fish-net tights...perhaps this trend will hit the States this summer..) and little heels.  Yes, they were wearing heels!  After taking photos, Natacha went straight to work serving each guest an amazing plate of food.  I always have mixed emotions when I'm offered food in someone's home.  I never want to take food when there are so many other people there and yet, I don't want to hurt Natacha's feelings and not eat what she has prepared.  I love the food she prepares and honestly if my conscious didn't get the best of me I'd probably sneak off in a corner somewhere and eat the entire plate by myself without sharing one bite..it is that good.  In the end Aubree, Claire, and I all enjoyed an amazing plate of food (that we secretly shared with all our little friends) and had an amazing time celebrating the baptism of Kris and Natamara.  I love the heart Natacha has for her daughter's and I feel honored that I was able to celebrate with her family today! 

LOVE Haitian food!!  

Kris being her sassy self!  If you look closely you can see the beautiful fish-net tights=)

"Awaken my soul, come awake

To hunger, to seek, to thirst

Awaken first love, come awake

And do as You did at first

Spirit of the Living God come fall afresh on me

Come wake me from my sleep

Blow through the caverns of my soul

Pour in me to overflow,

to overflow

Spirit come and fill this place

Let Your glory now invade

Spirit come and fill this place

Let Your glory now invade."
Fall Afresh~ Jeremy Riddle

I'll be the first to admit that I am not the most up to date on anything new in fashion, music, and the list could go on and on.  I am blessed to have friends that try to help me out and one of them recently texted me with a new song she knew I'd love.  This song instantly became one of my favorites and is one that I have played over and over.  The part I can't stop humming and thinking about is "Blow through the caverns of my soul, Pour in me to overflow."  There are these "caverns" these really deep places that I stuff all the hard stuff.  Places I don't like to think about and honestly don't even want to try and process because the reality is so unbelievably hard.  And yet, I desire to be filled with Him.  I desire to overflow with His spirit.  I can't get the picture out of my head of what this looks like for me and my life here serving.  There are so many moments when I feel paralyzed by the reality of what I am seeing, hearing, smelling, and experiencing.  I find so much hope in knowing that He can and does work in all the areas of my heart and that He has the power to help me overflow even when I feel completely powerless.

Not sure how "new" this song really is but in case you haven't heard it--click below!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvi-0ngI6bI&feature=related

For more photos click below (you do not need to have a facebook account to see the photos)-
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151398640175831.535019.529825830&type=1&l=0bc7d14df0

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150963439915831.477242.529825830&type=1&l=f56fa81158

story time

Brandon and Katie (two other American's on staff with NVM) brought back a children's bible after Christmas in the States.  I was instantly jealous because they found a book in Creole and I knew the kids would love it!  I was really excited last week when a team arrived on campus with more of the bibles!  I quickly claimed one and couldn't wait to share it with my little friends.  Today, I tossed the bible in my bag and when I arrived in Chambrun the kids noticed it immediatly.  They couldn't believe it was in Creole and that all their favorite stories were in it.  We started with the story about Jonah and the whale.  Watching their faces was priceless--I mean how in the world could this big fish swallow a person and how could he live in the belly of this fish?!  From there we moved onto the story of Mary and Joseph and then to Goliath (I was surprised he was third in line!).  Reading the stories gave me an opportunity to not only work on reading skills with the children but to talk about the lessons in each story.  Love that they have already requested I bring the bible back tomorrow!

Clearly someone needs to hear a few more bible stories=) Nothing like
pushing/hitting on your friends during story time!

Natacha and her momma (Feb. 2013)

Haitian Proverb:

"Kreyon Bondye pa gen gom--God's pencil has no eraser."

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person that loves to witness a moment that was an answer to prayer.  Last March I blogged about a little baby, Natacha, that I met in the clinic.  From the moment I met this little girl I knew she was special.  There was something about this momma and her baby girl.  Maybe it was the fact that her mother was young and seemed to have all the odds against her.  Maybe it was simply because the little girl had a cleft lip and palate and the mom looked afraid and hopeless.  A few days after meeting Natacha I read a post on facebook about another organization that was letting people know they would have a surgeon in Haiti to repair cleft lips and palates.  I knew it was an answer to prayer to have just met Natacha and then days later see this posting- I also knew the chances of meeting this little girl again were slim.  Natacha returned to the clinic the next week though and our physician was able to talk with her momma about how important it was to take Natacha to this hospital and how this was a place that would take excellent care of her daughter.  The last time I saw Natacha and her mother I felt so overwhelmed at all the obstacles that stood in between them getting to this hospital for the surgery.  This little girl has been on my heart for almost a year now and I have prayed for her daily.  On Monday I was completely surprised when I saw Natacha in the clinic!  I quickly gave her mom a hug and then of course asked her all sorts of questions about how they were doing.  I found out that her mother took her to the hospital we told them about and that they were able to do the surgery.  Her mother said they had no problems with the surgery and that Natacha was doing great.  Natacha was full of smiles and even let me hold her for a minute- she's a momma's girl!  I love that I was able to see them again and that I was able to see this prayer answered.  

Natacha Feb. 2013

Natacha and her mom- March 2012

Natacha- March 2012

To read the first blog entry about Natacha click below:

http://brookesmalley.blogspot.com/2012/03/letting-go.html

little miracles

Bedtchina, Bedjine, and Benardia with mom and dad.

"People see God everyday, they just don't recognize Him."

~Pearl Bailey

One of my favorite parts about working in the clinic is getting to talk with the mothers and their little kiddos.  I love how proud most of the mothers are and how much pride they take in their children.  A few weeks ago I was talking to one of the mothers and at some point in the story she shared that she had three little girls that were all one year old.  This mother was older than most of the mommas with little babes so I was sure that I either misunderstood her or that she worked in a children's home.  I asked her over and over how old the other two children were in her home--and each time she answered that they were all born on the same day.  I asked her if they were her grandchildren because then it would be possible to have three the same age- but the answer was no. I could not come up with the word for triplets so I finally said you were pregnant for twins but really had three?  She laughed and said yes, she had triplet girls at the age of 39.  Her other children are older and when she found out she was pregnant she had an ultrasound that revealed she was pregnant for twins.  It wasn't until she delivered the "twins" that she realized she was actually pregnant for triplets.  And the best part- she delivered the girls in her home up in the mountain.  For the rest of the day in the clinic I couldn't stop thinking about just how much of a miracle this birth was.  The fact that all three girls survived the pregnancy and delivery is a miracle--but they also made it to their first birthday.  Love the testimony this mother has and the story the girls will be able to share one day- I have a feeling God has some pretty big things in store for them!

twister!

This is one of the more successful attempts at Twister!

Aubree and I are always trying to keep the kiddos entertained with creative new games and activities.  Typically we have the children all running races while acting like goats, cows, and chickens or doing all sorts of exercises that end with all of us laughing hysterically.  Today was a special treat when the kids noticed that Aubree had a bag with an actual game in it!  While Aubree was home for Christmas her mom gave us an old Twister mat and board.  It was complete chaos the first few rounds but after awhile the kids finally got the hang of how to actually play Twister.  To shake it up a bit we even tossed in putting your nose, head, and bottoms on certain colors--we had the kids literally in knots!  I think the pictures show just how much fun we all had!

The younger kids turn--which turned into a giant pile!

Even Natamara joined in on the fun!