A Prayer for Peace

I'm constantly reminded just how difficult it is for each of my patients and friends to receive medical care and the many obstacles that surround the health care system in Haiti. Yesterday, as I was playing with the children in the village I was told that Sylvenson "ti-Brooke" (read previous blog post: It's a boy!) had something on his neck and that he had a fever. At first I wasn't worried because I'm told multiple times a day that a baby is sick and has a fever, but something was different yesterday. As I went to Sylvenson's house I passed his mom and she had tears running down her face. She told me he was sick and took me to see him. Sylvenson's neck on the right side was completely swollen, his breathing was too fast, and he was hot with a fever. I knew he needed more help than our clinic could provide and that he needed to go to a hospital. It isn't as simple as just "going to the hospital" though. In order to go a person must have the money for transportation because it's not a quick trip. The family must also have money to pay the hospital because they are required to pay up-front. And they have to be able to find a hospital that is open and has space for more patients which is extremely difficult because the hospitals are full. I tried to explain over and over why they needed to take him to the hospital, but was told repeatedly that they would go "tomorrow" if they could get the money etc. I finally said that if he didn't go soon the swelling could get worse and that he wouldn't be able to breathe. That is when I feel they finally understood that Sylvenson really needed to go to the hospital. As I walked home I prayed for the care that he would receive. Later, I was told that he had been taken to the hospital, given a "pill", and sent home.

Today, as I entered the kitchen Wadeline (one of our Haitian staff) asked me if I had heard that Sylvenson had died. I quickly asked who told her and if she was she sure that he had died. Aubree and I quickly left for Chambrun and as we walked to the village we were told multiple times that Sylvenson had died this morning. It wasn't until I saw E'tienne (another one of the nurses here for the year who had left campus earlier for her daily run) with tears running down her face that it truly hit me. Sylvenson had died. I spent the morning sitting with Bernardia and her friends and family. Some men in the village buried Sylvenson beside Bernardia's home. While tears ran down Bernardia's face, I prayed that she would be surrounded with the peace that only Christ can provide and that she would feel His arms around her. As I walked home from the village I realized that Sylvenson was another statistic of a baby that didn't survive infancy. The only difference was that I knew this baby. He was only in this world for a mere 17 days. The Haitian proverb that I posted in my last blog has been going through my head all day "sa je pa weke pa tounen" which translated is "what the eye doesn't see, doesn't move the heart." The unfortunate truth is that we as Christians aren't called to live in a pretend bubble, but rather we are called to confront injustice. My pastor once said we are called to "be brave and not safe" and I truly believe this means even during times when we can't understand and it hurts the most.

ups and downs

Haitian proverb:

"Sa je pa weke pa tounen- what the eye doesn't see, doesn't move the heart"

The last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. There are so many highs and in the same breath the same amount of lows. During the last week of mobile medical clinics I met four different women who were all emotionless. After talking with them I found out they had all recently lost either a spouse or child. They simply looked hopeless. With the little Creole that I know I tried to speak words of affirmation and encouragement to them and prayed with each of them. I'm still praying for them and their faces have been ingrained in my mind. Then, to add more to my feeling of heaviness it seems that several of my little buddies in the village have needed extra attention lately. They have been acting out and have simply not been themselves. My heart breaks for them. I want for each of them to know how loved they truly are and to know just how special they are to not only me but to God himself. Each afternoon as I walk to the village I have struggled with knowing which child needs my attention. Who really needs the extra hugs and kisses and who needs to be looked in the eyes and told that they are truly beautiful and that I love them so very much. I know that it will be a constant battle over who will get to sit in my lap, but I really pray that I will keep my eyes open and that I will seek out the child who truly needs that one-on-one time. It's impossible for me to connect with each and every person who has a need. Ultimately, the deep desire of my heart is to not settle for what is comfortable, but rather to reach out and love and serve as I have been called to do.

It's a BOY!

Each and everyday I'm humbled at how each of my Haitian friends invite me into their lives. They don't treat me like a visitor or like someone who is here for just a year. They honestly treat me like family. Yesterday, Aubree and I needed to make a quick trip to the village. That trip turned into a long evening of many firsts for me. When we got into the village the kids immediately told us that Bernardia had delivered her baby. I have teased Bernardia for five long months that the little one growing inside of her should be named "ti-brooke" (little-Brooke) and that of course it will be a little girl. Aubree and I were both beyond excited! Of course, after talking to some of the adult women we found out that Bernardia hadn't really had the baby, but instead was having contractions..next time I'll have to remember that 5 year olds aren't the most reliable source for information! We walked (ok, we were literally drug by the kids) to Bernardia's home and invited in to see her. She was so excited to have us there and instantly wanted to know where E'tienne was and said we needed to call her. I'm pretty sure that trip to the village was the fastest for E'tienne! The next four hours were amazing as the three of us sat on the ground inside of Bernardia's mud home. There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child, but last night taught me it also takes a village to deliver a child. Bernardia was surrounded by women that had all birthed multiple children in their homes and were there to support her. Each had advice that ranged from how she should sit on the ground to how she should push. After watching the mid-wife maneuver her pregnant abdomen I whispered to Aubree and E'tienne that there was no way I would ever be able to have a baby here. I sat in her home amazed at how simple it all was because there were no fancy monitors or equipment, but only a lantern to light the room. There was no bed that transformed into a birthing table, but rather rocks that were layered with clothes to make them softer with a friend to sit behind her and hold her up. There were also no IV's or medications, but instead oils, perfumes, and hot tea. Most importantly, no complete strangers were present but rather a room full of family and friends. The entire evening was filled with things that left me feeling like it was all a dream. As I came home I was worried for my friend and prayed that the remainder of her labor would be quick and safe. Bernardia delivered a precious little baby boy late this morning and I was able to hold and see him when he was still just hours old. Last night I was given a glimpse into the reality of child birth for most of the women I have been called to serve and I know I will never look at a pregnant woman the same.

Don't be fooled by the pink=)

I like to think that "ti-brooke" is still an option for his name

Bernardia's home

answered prayers

Blogging is really difficult for me. One of the (many) reasons is that it requires me to be vulnerable emotionally and physically and let's be honest...the internet is a big place. I think the main reason though is that the people I blog about aren't just random people. They are my friends and even more so they have become family. I struggle with trying to respect their lives/stories while also giving you a glimpse into my life here in Haiti. Davidson's story below is a perfect example of this struggle. He has been on my heart for the last five months. Davidson has always been special to me and as I've watched this part of his story unfold I have struggled with the "right" way to be vulnerable with how his life has impacted mine. E'tienne (my friend, roommate, one of the other nurses who works on campus) wrote the blog below and after reading it I told her it captured exactly what I had been trying to put into words. It seemed silly to re-write another version so with her permission I added some other photos I had and copied her blog entry (etienneyork.wordpress.com)...

Davidson (left to right-- 3rd baby) in June 2011

"There’s nothing like a ray of sunshine to brighten ones day. At 10:00am yesterday morning I was greeted by one of my little buddies “Kesna” at our back door. Like most of our school children, I figured she was just sick. Instead she told me that “Davidson” is outside. Davidson is a little boy from our village that I have known since the first day I stepped into Chambrun back in July. He was the little baby you would find on the ground half naked, with dirt all in his mouth, without mom in site. When he found himself in one of our laps (Brooke, Aubs, Leslee or I) he would nuzzle in and fall asleep in minutes. We acknowledged him, held him,fed him, played with him, bathed him and most importantly loved on him. We earned his trust. Many days as we left the village to head back to campus, he’d cry.

Davidson (on the bottom) in October 2011

About 2 months ago we noticed a decline in his health, so much that we became extremely concerned. His family had brought him into the clinic and we provided him with some medication and nutrition. A week or so later we noticed that Davidson wasn’t ever there during our visits. Family and friends told us that he and his mother had moved to another village. I was extremely saddened, for we no longer could monitor his health during our visits to the village. As we continued our visits in Chambrun, we’d come back always with an update on him. It wasn’t ever real encouraging news, which made it even more difficult. It got to the point where our friends from Chambrun also became concerned about his health. This past Sunday Aubree was able to talk with Pastor Pierre and share our concerns. After sharing her heart, Pastor also agreed that something needed to be done. For me it gave me a spark of hope, I thought to myself now we’re making progress. That afternoon we found ourselves in the village talking with his grandma and sharing our concern and how we can help. Now all that we could do is pray, wait and hope that the message would be shared with his mother and someone would bring him to the clinic before it was too late.

Davidson (far left) December 2011

So here Brooke and I were 2 days after Aubree talked with Pastor; holding Davidson in our arms with such joy and hope in knowing that his life-story has many more chapters still to come. The process of intervening has begun. Davidson…our little ray of sunshine has found us again!

Davidson January 24th, 2011

Davidson’s journey is just beginning. God has a plan for him and we know that it is far more than we could ever dream for this sweet little boy. As nurses, we are asking you to join us in prayer for Davidson. Please pray that God will give us and NVM the wisdom in making decisions. Please pray that as nurses and sisters in Christ we will be able to speak words of affirmation and love to his mom and encourage her. That ultimately Davidson’s family, neighbors, and friends will all see Christ glorified in all things."

My nurse friends blogs=)

E'tienne's blog: etienneyork.wordpress.com

Aubree's blog: aubreedell.wordpress.com

**Just a fyi--we typically use one camera when taking photos so a lot of our pictures are similar/the same..we all love to capture the moments here but also want to be sensitive to our friends too.

welcome to my home!

It's hard to believe I have lived in Haiti for almost five months. I planned on giving you a "photo tour" once I was settled in here on campus but obviously time slipped away. Nehemiah Vision Ministries (NVM) is an organization that is focused on raising up a new generation of Haitians through education, health care, orphan care, and spiritual development. I hope you enjoy this small glimpse into my life here in Haiti and the ministry I am serving with!

The road to Chambrun...

This is my view each and everyday....simply breathtaking.

Guard shack

Church

Another view of the church

School

Inside one of the pre-school classrooms

Over Christmas break a team painted murals in the pre-school classrooms

Playground! It is packed before and after school!

One of the two new children's homes being built on campus.

Administration building...just finished in December

Warehouse...this building holds a little bit of everything!

The front section is the preschool--the back is the clinic I work in!

Patients line up hours before the clinic open in order to be seen each day.

Inside of the clinic

Pharmacy

This is where we do anything from suturing, IV's, wounds, and sooo much more!

Aubree, E'tienne and I are the campus nurses. LOVE them!

Hospital! Once finished will have surgery rooms, inpatient rooms, dental, vision, pharmacy, health clinic, ER..and SOO much more.

Hospital from the back...

Electricity was placed in the hospital just this week!

Teams who volunteer with NVM stay on this side of campus. From far left: mens shower house, dining hall, and women's shower house.

Team housing

Door 1 is my house! I live with 3 other volunteers who are also serving with NVM for a year. Our home has a living room, bathroom/shower, and two bedrooms. We are blessed to have this space to call home and retreat to after long days of working.

the prayer of my heart

Romans 12:9-13

"Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God's people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality."

Two years ago..

Two years ago a 7.0 magnitude earthquake shook Haiti. Two years ago today the lives of most Haitians changed forever. I remember watching the news as reporters showed various pictures and gave updates about the tragedy striking an already poverty stricken country. I remember feeling compelled to help. I truly believe my life was forever changed on January 12, 2010. Before the earthquake I had no plan or desire to come and serve in Haiti. I never even considered it a possibility that two years into the future I would actually be living in Haiti. God of course had other plans for my life! Over the span of a year and a half I served on five different short term trips. Each trip brought me one step closer to calling Haiti my home. Tonight I worshipped with my Haitian friends. They took time to mourn the lives that were lost, but also to celebrate the lives that were spared. They rejoiced in the plan that God has for their lives. I feel blessed to be a part of an amazing ministry's vision which is to bring Haitian men, women, and children from darkness to light and from hopelessness into eternal life. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Finding Hope

I don’t think anyone would argue with the fact that life in Haiti is hard. The longer I live here the more and more I feel emotionally heavy over just how hard it is for my Haitian friends. I watch women and children walk trip after trip to the well to get water for cooking, bathing, laundry, etc. Sometimes they walk for miles and that doesn’t even mean the water is safe for drinking and cooking. Electricity is a luxury and not something most have access to. Having one meal a day of rice and beans is what most live off of and then there are many who don’t consistently get the one meal.

Over the last two weeks I have cared for countless sick children mainly due to malnutrition. They don’t have a rare disease...they just need to have food consistently. The more I talk with the mothers I realize just how hard it is for them. One mom had eight children, two of her children had died, her husband had died, and she was solely responsible for all six remaining children. It was obvious by the looks of her daughter that she wasn’t able to make the food stretch far enough. Her daughter could barely walk into the clinic. Immediately, I noticed another little boy in the triage line because of his legs that had a striking similarity to chicken legs. They were so thin that I never would have guessed he was a year old. Especially, since he didn't even weigh a mere 10 pounds. My niece Caitlin was bigger than him when she was born. When E’tienne and I took off his shirt, to place an IV, we both stood speechless. He was nothing but bones. Literally, just bones. Another little boy around two years of age was brought to the clinic by his 11 year old sister. E’tienne triaged him and knew instantly he wasn’t going to live if he didn’t have help. His sister sobbed while talking to the doctor because she was so fearful he was going to die. She was left to care for him and her other 5 year old sister while mom was away having her fourth child. The stories go on and on with so many yet to be heard. Everyday I have to constantly remind myself that God is in control. Psalm 139:16 “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” With each child I hold and each story that breaks my heart, I am overwhelmed by the "big picture." It's difficult to say what the future holds, but I'm trying to stop and focus on each and every person, one at a time and all in God's timing.

For more pictures click on the link below (you do NOT need to have Facebook to see the pics).

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150461677395831.422201.529825830&type=1&l=a6b4e88fb3

A trip to the Dominican Republic

My passport is only good in Haiti for three months at at time. This means every three months I have to leave Haiti and then of course come back again. So yesterday, we loaded up the car for a trip to the Dominican Republic. Our plan was to go through immigration and customs in Haiti and enter the Dominican Republic for the afternoon to eat lunch and then of course re-enter Haiti. The drive went fairly quick but that was pretty much the only thing. We were able to complete the needed paperwork to exit Haiti and then tried to drive though the section that is "no-man's" land before officially crossing the border into the DR. That is where the fun began. There were literally tons of semi-trailers, the road was flooded, and people everywhere. We quickly realized we were going no where fast! A man was able to come and take Pastor Pierre to get more of the needed paperwork processed. After awhile we crossed through the gate and officially entered the DR. Once there we realized we were in line behind 20+ semis and it would take at least another hour to make our way around them to then move towards the restaurant to eat. We decided to turn around and simply re-enter Haiti. The whole ordeal took 5 1/2 hrs and by the time we got home we were all exhausted, carsick, and hungry. So technically I was in the DR but I'm not quite sure I believe it. Needless to say, after a very long day in the car I was thrilled to be back home in Haiti and on campus at NVM!