give thanks

"I will praise the Lord at all times, I will constantly speak His praises" Psalm 34:1.  There is something extra special about the month of November. I love reading posts and blogs on what everyone is thankful for. In so many ways this season is one that truly causes me to reflect and look back on what the Lord is doing in my life and in the lives of those around me.

As I sat in the village this week my emotions were all over the place. While holding the chubbiest and sweetest little one I realized just how much of a blessing and answer to prayer her little life has been.  I'm so thankful I have been given a spot to watch as her momma has learned to be an amazing mother and truly embrace this role in her life. I watched as my kiddos proudly sang a long list of songs that they have learned in school and I couldn't help but be thankful that even against a long list of obstacles these kids are learning so much. They are going to change this community and they give me so much hope. And over the last few weeks I have been challenged by the heart of my little man. When he prays he goes through a long list of things he is thankful for. That list includes everything from food and school to the names of every single person he knows. I'm so thankful that the Lord has used this little five year old to show me how to pray because while I have been caught up trying to figure out the heavy and just mess of these relationships- He is showing me that really I need to just pray and turn so much of that back over to Him.  This season of "thanks" has shown me so much of His heart and for that I am try thankful.

I know it has been forever (months really) since I've  blogged.  Life has been busy and in many ways hard to actually put down in words.  I think this picture sort of sums up the last few weeks though.

It was taken one afternoon when I knew I needed to slip away and talk with one of my kiddos.  And yet, in true form the other kids didn't quite feel it was the best idea for me to kick them out of the house and to not be with them for five minutes.

In a lot of ways I'm emotionally tired so I have wanted to just hide away and avoid so many conversations and questions.  And yet, instead I'm trying to force myself to have the hard conversations and to keep moving forward even when it feels really heavy and broken.  I'm also trying to find the joy that is right there in the middle of what to me only seems hard.

Learning to step aside from the chaos of the littles to listen and connect with the heart of one of my bigs is worth fighting for.  Learning to step back and simply listen isn't something that comes natural to me.  And yet, in this season I feel that He is showing me so much about what it truly means to extend grace and what it look likes to really join people on this walk through life.  I have to keep reminding myself that this life is a walk and to take it just one sweet day at a time.  Ok, maybe just one sweet moment at a time because wow somedays it really is just moment by moment.

As frustrating as it can be trying to get away from the littles for a few minutes, I'm thankful for the distractions of hands squeezing under the door and little eyes peeping through the cracks in the wall.  My kiddos have a way of bringing so much laughter to even the hardest of moments and for that I'm thankful.  The month of November (wow..where did 2016 go?!) always causes me to reflect back and look for things that I'm thankful for.  Even though things don't always happen the way I feel like they should I am so thankful that He is still just as present and that He has given me so many glimpses of His heart in this season of life.