Saturday, February 18, 2012

ups and downs

Haitian proverb:
"Sa je pa weke pa tounen- what the eye doesn't see, doesn't move the heart"

The last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. There are so many highs and in the same breath the same amount of lows. During the last week of mobile medical clinics I met four different women who were all emotionless. After talking with them I found out they had all recently lost either a spouse or child. They simply looked hopeless. With the little Creole that I know I tried to speak words of affirmation and encouragement to them and prayed with each of them. I'm still praying for them and their faces have been ingrained in my mind. Then, to add more to my feeling of heaviness it seems that several of my little buddies in the village have needed extra attention lately. They have been acting out and have simply not been themselves. My heart breaks for them. I want for each of them to know how loved they truly are and to know just how special they are to not only me but to God himself. Each afternoon as I walk to the village I have struggled with knowing which child needs my attention. Who really needs the extra hugs and kisses and who needs to be looked in the eyes and told that they are truly beautiful and that I love them so very much. I know that it will be a constant battle over who will get to sit in my lap, but I really pray that I will keep my eyes open and that I will seek out the child who truly needs that one-on-one time. It's impossible for me to connect with each and every person who has a need. Ultimately, the deep desire of my heart is to not settle for what is comfortable, but rather to reach out and love and serve as I have been called to do.


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