give thanks

"I will praise the Lord at all times, I will constantly speak His praises" Psalm 34:1.  There is something extra special about the month of November. I love reading posts and blogs on what everyone is thankful for. In so many ways this season is one that truly causes me to reflect and look back on what the Lord is doing in my life and in the lives of those around me.

As I sat in the village this week my emotions were all over the place. While holding the chubbiest and sweetest little one I realized just how much of a blessing and answer to prayer her little life has been.  I'm so thankful I have been given a spot to watch as her momma has learned to be an amazing mother and truly embrace this role in her life. I watched as my kiddos proudly sang a long list of songs that they have learned in school and I couldn't help but be thankful that even against a long list of obstacles these kids are learning so much. They are going to change this community and they give me so much hope. And over the last few weeks I have been challenged by the heart of my little man. When he prays he goes through a long list of things he is thankful for. That list includes everything from food and school to the names of every single person he knows. I'm so thankful that the Lord has used this little five year old to show me how to pray because while I have been caught up trying to figure out the heavy and just mess of these relationships- He is showing me that really I need to just pray and turn so much of that back over to Him.  This season of "thanks" has shown me so much of His heart and for that I am try thankful.

I know it has been forever (months really) since I've  blogged.  Life has been busy and in many ways hard to actually put down in words.  I think this picture sort of sums up the last few weeks though.

It was taken one afternoon when I knew I needed to slip away and talk with one of my kiddos.  And yet, in true form the other kids didn't quite feel it was the best idea for me to kick them out of the house and to not be with them for five minutes.

In a lot of ways I'm emotionally tired so I have wanted to just hide away and avoid so many conversations and questions.  And yet, instead I'm trying to force myself to have the hard conversations and to keep moving forward even when it feels really heavy and broken.  I'm also trying to find the joy that is right there in the middle of what to me only seems hard.

Learning to step aside from the chaos of the littles to listen and connect with the heart of one of my bigs is worth fighting for.  Learning to step back and simply listen isn't something that comes natural to me.  And yet, in this season I feel that He is showing me so much about what it truly means to extend grace and what it look likes to really join people on this walk through life.  I have to keep reminding myself that this life is a walk and to take it just one sweet day at a time.  Ok, maybe just one sweet moment at a time because wow somedays it really is just moment by moment.

As frustrating as it can be trying to get away from the littles for a few minutes, I'm thankful for the distractions of hands squeezing under the door and little eyes peeping through the cracks in the wall.  My kiddos have a way of bringing so much laughter to even the hardest of moments and for that I'm thankful.  The month of November (wow..where did 2016 go?!) always causes me to reflect back and look for things that I'm thankful for.  Even though things don't always happen the way I feel like they should I am so thankful that He is still just as present and that He has given me so many glimpses of His heart in this season of life.

five years!

Dashline, Genelda, Rose, and Kris 

Today marks five years of living life in Haiti.  In so many ways my first instincts are to think back to all the "hard" that first year of transitions held.  To think back on how difficult it was to leave my family, friends, church, and just life in the States.  During the first year I felt a lot of "losses" and yet now in this season of looking back I feel so blessed and thankful for all that I have gained.  When I look at all my little kiddos running around like crazy and just being silly, I can't help but be thankful that I get to live this life with them.  I don't take it for granted that I have been given a spot in their little lives.  I also love that I get to partner with lots of different mommas who are working SO hard to care for their children.  I love getting to cheer a mom on as she fights to help her child not only gain weight but reach developmental milestones in the malnutrition program.  So many of these women have become dear friends to me and watching them live out their faith has impacted my own.  I've also gained a community of people from the States that have chosen to rally around me in prayer and financial support.  So many people have sacrificed in order to make this life possible for me and for that I will be forever thankful.  Thank you for following along as I continue to live and serve in Haiti.  I'm excited to see what the Lord has in store for this next year--I know that with my kiddos it for sure won't be dull or boring=)

Look at all those sweet baby cheeks!  How is it possible they are all 5 and 6yrs old now?!

Some things haven't changed--like fighting over who gets to sit where=) 

Natamara and Davidson- one of my favorite pictures of these two!
Can't believe just how much my "babies" have grown! 

august newsletter!

 The August newsletter has been mailed!  Click on the link below for the web version of the newsletter.  Let me know (brookes_00@yahoo.com) if you would like to feel extra special and receive a copy in the mail!

 http://www.ministryupdates.org/smalley

To donate financially- click on the link below!

www.nvm.org/get-involved/invest/financial/staff-support/
*Select under staff support Brooke Smalley*

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summer interns!

Our busy and more chaotic summer months are starting to quiet down and life is starting to fall back into what feels more normal.  This summer was once again filled with lots of teams and interns.  I'm always excited to see what the Lord does through team members when they come to serve with NVM. I know that the team has an impact in Haiti but I also know that so much of the greater impact typically happens once the team returns home.  This summer a majority of our interns that came to serve with us had all been on teams before.  The week long trips they had here impacted them enough to give up a summer of getting paid to work to volunteer with us in lots of different areas.  I was blessed to have an amazing group of nursing interns serve with me in the clinic.  These young women are not only going to be great nurses but I truly believe that each of them are going to radically change the world.  They have hearts for the Lord and they served and loved absolutely every person and patient they met.  Getting to serve with these young women is one of the highlights of my year.  I love nothing more than watching them jump into a new culture and language.  I also love watching them wrestle with their faith and process as they live life here in Haiti.  They also have a special way of bringing a lot of energy and fun to the summer months.  Watching these young women serve and work in the clinic this summer has given me so much hope in the next generation of nurses.  So thankful that I was once again given the opportunity to simply live life with each of the interns and for the love and patience they showed with all of my kiddos!  Life is for sure much quieter and not nearly as exciting without them all here!

bon fet manman!

Today is a holiday that has so many different "feels" for me.  Today is the day that Haiti celebrates mother's day.  It's no secret that life here is hard and that the level of injustice is overwhelming at times.  At the mention of "Haiti" one quickly can come up with a list of things that this beautiful country struggles with or is in lack of.  And yet, what most don't realize or give credit to is this band of women who literally have stood together for years upon years doing absolutely everything within their power to raise up the future generations of Haitian's.  At first glance many of these women don't look like my own mother or in some ways raise their children the way I was raised.  And yet, the longer I live here and sit in the homes of my dear friends the more I realize that there really is no difference.  My mother did absolutely everything she could to make sure my siblings and I were cared for and loved.  It looks different here but at the core these momma's are fighting against everything else to prepare meals for their children, to send their children to school, and to physically carry bucket after bucket of water to hand wash laundry and bathe children all day long.  All of my kiddos have different stories but at the core they each have or had a mother.  My relationship with each of these mothers is unique and different.  

One of my sweet friends has this relationship with the Lord that is so present and real that it literally overflows into the way she loves and parents her children.  Her life story is anything but easy and yet she is quick to hug her children and has a laugh that is contagious.  Some of my kiddos are raised by their grandmother and I am constantly in awe at how well she loves them.  This grandma raised a handful of her own children and is now raising several of her grandchildren.  She isn't quick to get angry with her grandchildren and always gives them the bigger portions of whatever food is being prepared.  Daily this grandma makes sacrifices in order to provide for her grandchildren.  I am constantly in awe of another dear friend who I rarely see sit down unless she is washing clothes or breastfeeding the baby.  This momma works day in and out in order to send all of her children to school.  Just days before this momma delivered her last child she was still walking several miles with her donkey loaded with charcoal to sell in order to provide for her children.  This mother isn't a mom that is all "hugs and kisses" and yet watching her do everything she can to make sure her children are cared for is humbling.  This mother has given me a special spot in their lives and that is something that I will never take for granted.  We have laughed and cried together and she has shown me that there is so much more to the story than what is seen at first glance.  

I am so thankful that I have been surrounded by women who have not only taken the time to teach me about language and culture but that have also "parented" me by teaching me to hand wash my clothes and how much to pay for everything from fruits and vegetables to material for school uniforms.  These women have given me a spot in their homes and in their children's lives and that is something I will be forever grateful for.  I am so thankful to have been given the opportunity to learn from this generation of momma's that love in so many different ways.  

oh life!

I have no clue where the last few months have gone!  And in reality I'm not quite sure how it's even 2016 let alone May!  Oh how time flies!  In this season of busy and long days I'm trying to remind myself to stay present.  It's so easy for me to get wrapped up in my to-do list which really is never ending.  All of my little friends are at such a fun stage right now.  And so instead of doing all the things that I "should" be doing I'm trying to focus on soaking up these sweet moments we have right now.  I'm trying to (or at least working at learning..) to embrace the hectic and crazy.  I am so blessed to have been given this special spot in my little friends lives and I know in just a blink of an eye they are going to be much too cool for me=)

we went swimming!

I'm always thankful that there are other people I live life with that welcome the chaos of my kiddos and let us do fun and crazy things with them!  One of the other missionary families recently got a kid sized blow up pool and they invited my kiddos to come for a swim!  I can't even tell you just how excited my kids were when they heard me say yes to the invitation=)  I've literally never seen them finish their food and change clothes so quickly…I seriously had to tell them to wait on me before we could leave the house!  Daniella and Rose were completely brave and jumped right into the pool.  Davidson looked at it and instantly said he wasn't getting in there..but quickly changed his mind once he saw the fun the girls were having=)  I have no great photos of Rose in the pool because that would have required her to sit still for more than one second and trust me she wasn't about to stop moving in this pool!  I am also pretty sure she didn't stop squealing from pure excitement for the first 15 minutes!  They loved getting to splash and jump in the pool and it wasn't until their lips wouldn't stop shivering that I could convince them to get out.  They also couldn't stop talking about how that pool made their hands and feet all wrinkly=)  I'm pretty sure this is going to be an event we talk about for a very long long time!    

Baby Saina LOVED splashing! 

March newsletter!

 The March newsletter has been mailed!  Click on the link below for the web version of the newsletter.  Let me know (brookes_00@yahoo.com) if you would like to feel extra special and receive a copy in the mail!

 http://www.ministryupdates.org/smalley

To donate financially- click on the link below!

www.nvm.org/get-involved/invest/financial/staff-support/
*Select under staff support Brooke Smalley*

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Who doesn't love getting snacks?!

This has been a really sweet phase of life with all of my little friends.  It seems like absolutely everyday they have me literally in tears over something they say or do.  Life with a crazy and energetic filled group of kids is full and for sure leaves me tired at the end of the day!  One of the things my kids love to do most right now is clean my house.  Yes, you read that correctly, they literally beg to have me give each of them a wet wipe and then assign them to different areas of my house to clean.  And oh boy if someone cleans someone else's area it isn't pretty=)  They even have a song that they sing "cleaning, cleaning Brooke's house" as they rush around the house going through wet wipe after wet wipe.  I figure it would be mean to force them to play with the other toys instead of cleaning so I give in and let them clean=)  There was also a big soccer match on campus this week.  The youth group aged kids love getting dressed up and having a social event to attend.  My younger kids all claim to love soccer games too.  I'm pretty sure they just come for the snacks that are sold at the event though and that they know they can con me into buying them whatever is being sold.  Of course, they have spent all week cleaning my house so I guess it's only fair they get some popcorn and slushy's out of the deal=)  Life with this group is never dull and yet there is something about the chaos that seems just perfect!

Just having a little fun while cleaning the house…haha.

picture updates!

Do you see it??  Baby girl has a TOOTH!  The kids made sure to warn me that she knows how to bite now too=)  This sweet girl is growing up much too quickly!  She crawls everywhere, waves goodbye, and is now able to go from sitting to standing all by herself!  Oh and I promise she wasn't left alone with the jump rope--she is determined to do everything the big kids are!

The last few months have been filled with LOTS of growth and change for Fado!  In October he weighed just 14.58 pounds at 2yrs and 3 months of age.  He was unable to walk and had very little energy to play.  Today he is up to 21.58 pounds and is literally thriving!  He is now walking and is starting to talk more too! And just recently his momma took him to get his hair cut!  he no looks SO grown up!  It has been such a blessing watching this little guy go from being energy less to now walking everywhere and into absolutely everything!

The Target dollar aisle has helped to make doing homework just a little more fun!  Rose has grown so much this school year and LOVES learning to write her letters and numbers!  Love coming up with creative ways to make learning more fun for this sweet girl!

doutchina

Doutchina (2yrs 11 months)
 Admit (top two pics) 10/14/15 @ 17.46#
11/17/15 (bottom two pics) @ 20.46#

From the moment I Doutchina's mother I could tell that she was an amazing and strong woman.  This mother loved her daughter but she needed someone to help her fight because her daughter had become very sick.  Her mom tried to take her to the hospital multiple times but each and every time she was told there was no space for her daughter.  She told me she kept hearing the Lord tell her to not loose hope or to become discouraged though.  It was after being refused at the fourth hospital that this momma met another woman in a tap tap (form of a taxi/public transportation) who told her to come to our clinic in Chambrun.

Doutchina was placed in the malnutrition program at NVM and for the first two appointments this sweet little girl cried non-stop.  Her little body hurt and she just didn't feel well.  Doutchina's momma had to force her to eat the Plumpy Nut (fortified peanut butter paste for children with severe/moderate acute malnutrition) and to drink the milk.  This momma never gave up though and eventually Doutchina started to gain weight and have more energy.  All of a sudden Doutchina started to blossom into this really sweet girl who once again could walk, talk, smile, and who carried a purse to her appointments!  The best day was when Doutchina told me that she was finally able to return to school!

Once Doutchina had met all the requirements to graduate from the malnutrition program her mother was given a small gift of pictures.  These pictures showed Doutchina at admission and how her body changed as she progressed through the program.  Most moms get SO excited to look through the photos but Doutchina's mom was different.  When I handed her the photos she thanked me and then as she began to open the baggie she broke down.  This momma had remained as hopeful and strong for as long as she could but in this moment there was no holding it in.  She sobbed as she looked at the photo of her daughter when she was admitted into the program.  She looked me in the eyes and through tears she said the Lord is so faithful and then she hugged me.  The hug wasn't one of those quick hugs but rather one that told me just how thankful she was.  This momma had all our staff in tears.  Most all of the children enter the program sick, frail, and lacking energy.  Rarely are the kids meeting the developmental milestones like sitting up, crawling, walking and talking like other children their age are doing.  The parents enter the program tired, broken, and defeated.  And yet, this little girl was graduating as a kid who is now back in school and who no longer cries out in pain.  Through tears we were able to give thanks for what the Lord had done and was doing not only through Doutchina but through her entire family.  So thankful for the opportunity to love and serve this sweet family!

Graduated:  1/13/16 @ 21.75#

This girl has style!!  

the best of 2015

These kids have my heart and I feel completely blessed to have been given a spot in their lives!  

And just like that it's time to wish in another year!  I hope you enjoy looking back at some of my favorite pictures from 2015.  I tried to narrow it down to just ten of my favorite pictures but after awhile I just accepted the fact that it was impossible to choose just ten=)  Thank you for joining with me on this journey.  So many of you support me financially, in prayer, and follow my blog.  I feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to live this life in Haiti and I can't thank you enough for helping make it all possible.  Wishing you a wonderful New Year!

There is nothing cuter than a baby in a laundry basin!

My kids got to experience playing on a big grass field for the first time and this picture pretty much sums up just how amazing it was.  

Friday afternoon's with these three are anything but quiet!  LOVE getting time with just them- we spend lots of time running around the playground playing all sorts of games.  My babies are growing up and this year I've felt it more than ever.  Trying to soak up all these fun and crazy moments while they still think I'll cool enough to play with=)

Loved getting to decorate for Christmas with my girls!

Friday nights are spent playing games, watching movies, and eating fun snacks with the kids in the children's home.  I look forward to this time with them all week long.  

My dear friend and coworker, Francoinise, got married over the summer.  This is something that she had been dreaming about for such a long time.  Feel so blessed to have been there for her big day!  

Absolutely everything is an adventure with this crew and oh do we have fun doing the little things.  They love to visit other friends and of course stopping to buy suckers, crackers, and bags of water is always a highlight too=)

I just wish I could bottle up all the sweet moments from this year with my boy.  He has my heart and I'm not ok with this growing up thing anymore!  

Daniella was my date to multiple wedding this year.  Love my girl!

If this road could talk it would tell of many of the struggles and joys from 2015.  I have laughed, cried, and wanted to scream really loudly on this road.  This road has given me lots of space to pray for my littles as I walk to and home from the village.  I'm thankful for this space that gives me time to process and pray. 

This pictures pretty much summarizes this sweet girl!  She is FULL of spunk and sass and yet is also one of the kindest little girls ever.  She has me wrapped right around her fingers and I'm ok with that=)

This pretty much sums up my afternoons in the village and I wouldn't want it any other way!  I am SO blessed to call them mine and to have this spot in their lives!

The the last few months with this little guy have been filled with such JOY.  Fado is finally gaining weight and strength.  The Lord is using this little guy to show me that even when things seem too messy and risky that I am called to be bold and not safe.  The Lord has BIG plans for this kiddo and I can't wait to watch as he learns to fully walk, run, talk, and start school!  

Behind every child in the malnutrition program is a story that is filled with brokenness and just a lot of hard stuff.  And yet, in the midst of all the "heavy" there are these sweet moments that the Lord uses to show me just how faithful He is. 

It's hard to think that a baby this small could have had such a big impact on so many people.  Watching Kenciana's momma fight for her has been an answer to so many prayers.  This baby girl is now laughing, smiling, and is actually chubby!  

I am so thankful for this friendship.  This sweet momma has shown me so much and has been such a sweet reminder  of the Lord's faithfulness.  It doesn't matter how much or little she has she is constantly pursuing the Lord and sharing with me where He is working in her life.  I consider it a complete blessing to call her my friend.  

My kids are growing up and oh how creative they have become!  I love Saturday mornings and getting to watch as they pretend to load up on the moto to head off to market to buy me lots of goodies.  

This has been a big year for this sweet girl!  She now smiles and has the cutest little laugh!  And she is walking and talking too!

This sweet baby girl has rocked my world.  At first I really struggled with allowing myself to actually love this little one because of all the "what ifs'."  In a way that only the Lord can work this little one managed to wiggle her way right into my heart though and looking back I just can't imagine what we ever did without this little one.  Saina is always full of joy and there is nothing sweeter than cuddling this baby girl.